Is Youth Football a Safe Haven For Our Youth?
The short answer to that question is NO! Youth football should be a safe haven for kids. It should be a place where kids can just be kids. For some, it should be an escape from a troubled home life. It should be a place where they hang out with their friends and learn how to play the game—a place where they are encouraged, motivated, and happy. It should be a place where they can learn valuable lessons that will help develop them as young men. It should be a place where they can learn about discipline, brotherhood, responsibility, sharing, how to carry yourself as a man, etc. This type of safe haven is possible; however, this safe haven we are hoping to create is threatened because of the deterioration of the environment at youth football games and practices. This “safe haven” is becoming less safe and, in a few instances, a nightmare. We can’t ignore that the environment we provide for these children is diminishing, and we can all do better. Let’s start by taking a look at two definitions.
We often describe youth football as a safe haven for kids, but that definition alone doesn’t depict what people mean. What people mean is youth football is a place where all kids are free from any danger or threat. I really like the way word security is used in the example sentence. When I read it I translated it to: Youth football is designed to provide maximum security against violence and destructive influences. For the youth, and for the young men being developed, that is a safe haven. Unfortunately, this year I came to realize that is not always what we provide.
Earlier this year a video went viral of a shooting at a youth football game in Jacksonville, Florida. I was at the football games that day but left to go work. I continued watching the games on the live feed from my phone and witnessed kids and people I know running and ducking away from the gun fire. It was terrifying to watch so I could only imagine how those who were there felt. It was my 4th time at that same football field this year and not once did I think something like that could occur. The video sparked conversations and suddenly a video of a similar incident surfaced from a game the week before in Tampa, FL. I remember conversations about an additional shooting as well but don’t remember the exact location. Three shootings at 3 different youth football games over the span of 2 – 3 weeks. Our safe haven had suddenly become a nightmare. I began to reflect on myself and the environments at these games and came to the honest realization that this didn’t happen suddenly at all—it could easily happen again.
To my knowledge, the shootings that occurred were not directly related to anything that happened during any of the football games. No teams or staffs are at fault for the actual shootings. I do want to clear that up. However, the things that we have allowed to occur at these games has transitioned the sidelines of youth football from a safe haven for our youth, to a safe haven for those involved with illegal street activity. Head to the next major youth football game in your neighborhood and you will for sure find some great competition and players on the field. But walk around those sidelines and you will also find people smoking, an absurd amount of profanity, alcohol, drugs, and, if you do a search, guns. Is that what you would call a safe environment that is “all about the kids?”
For too long this type of behavior has gone unchecked and it has gotten to the point where you can’t have one without the other. That should not be the case. Most recently I attended the Youth National Championship with my youngest son on IMG Campus. After the first day of games a statement was issued to all guests and teams that they would cancel games if that type of behavior continued. Police offers were out and about to help enforce. However, while I certainly saw less smoking, I definitely could still smell plenty of alcohol as I walked around. It’s disappointing that adults have trouble putting the kids first by completing withdrawing from certain behaviors for a few hours. I was raised on an old principal that there is a time and place—children’s events are never the place.
In my opinion, it’s simple: if we want youth football to continue to be a true safe haven for the kids then we must get rid of everything at these games that is not truly for the kids. No drinking, no smoking, no profanity, no weapons, and no gambling. Those things are for the adults, they are for the streets, and they create an environment that caters to the wrong people. For those of you who do it and it hasn’t caused any problems, I don’t care about you. I care about the kids. And you should too! If you don’t, then you don’t need to be there. Youth football games is not your hang out spot. Youth football games are intended to be about kids and their families, and that experience should be pure.
But when you see a family panicking on the sideline because they are trying to figure out if a kid drank the juice bottle with or without the alcohol in it, that’s not pure; when a coach reaches inside his backpack for his firearm because he hears gun shots, that’s not pure; when a kid asks, “What’s that smell?” and you tell them somebody’s smoking but can’t tell them what it is because it’s illegal, that’s not pure. A five-year old should not be introduced to marijuana at 10:00am on a Saturday morning at his youth football game.
One of the major things that’s getting lost more and more each year on Saturdays is that 99% of these kids will not play in the NFL. In fact, 95% won’t even play in college. The kids we support and love to watch on Saturdays are going to be citizens and young adults one day who have their own children. Even for the ones who do make it, football does not last forever. So, while we have the eyes, ears, and hearts of these young people, what are we teaching them other than football? What are we showing them?
I really had to look at myself in the mirror when the shootings happened at multiple games. In addition to those situations, there were two incidents in my hometown where former athletes had shot and killed someone around the same time. I’m from a small city where it’s usually pretty quiet and any type of shooting is a big deal. Meanwhile, I have this whole video I’m working on about my own son themed around popping the trunk and getting the 9 out because that was his football number this year. His team’s nickname was the sniper gang, and they had a chant that cursed at the opposing team. I really had to ask myself, “What in the world am I doing?”
As I began to survey the highest level of competitive youth football—the level I wanted my son to be involved with—I realized that also meant immersing him into a culture full of destructive influences. It wasn’t just my son’s team that had the negative connotation surrounding its name. Other teams were named or nicknamed: Jack Boyz, Goon Squad, Hot Boyz, etc. There were a multitude of kids screaming chants lead by coaches filled with profanity. Coaches cursing each other out before the game, cursing the refs, kids cursing each other. Suddenly, I realized that while youth football is intended to be a safe haven and an opportunity to get kids out of the streets, by not monitoring and checking who’s involved with the programs and what’s being done at the games, we have brought the streets to the kids. While I do not believe what’s going on at the games has been the sole cause for kids turning to a life in the streets, I 100% believe that we have made it a smooth transition from football to street life because we allow the cultures to be synonymous. My son ain’t no sniper—my son has never seen or touched a gun. My son isn’t allowed to curse. My son knows he should treat others with respect when he talks to them. My son knows that smoking, doing drugs, and drinking alcohol are bad for you. He knows all that because I don’t do any of it and we talk about it. I don’t drink, smoke, do any drugs, and I rarely use profanity. For him it’s a shock every time he hears me say a word.
However, if I continue to allow him to be a part of this environment—this not-so-safe haven full of negative influences—that is not what I’m teaching him. If I consistently put my child around people smoking weed, I am teaching my son that even though I don’t do it, that it is ok. If I consistently put my child around people who curse and argue with others, I am teaching my son that behavior is also ok. And if I train up my child in the way that he should go, I will only have myself to blame when he does not depart from it. When I allow him to present himself as a jack boy or a sniper, only to see him be that literally rather than figuratively and in prison, then it’s my fault. And it’s also my fault if I sit back and watch other kids make that transition without speaking up. If we as the adults don’t remove the negative influences and make youth football about unadulterated youth experiences, then it’s all our fault.
Right now, youth football is not a safe haven. Youth Football is not “a place designed to provide maximum security against violence and destructive influences;” but it can and should be. It shouldn’t only be that way on certain days and in certain areas. Kids aren’t making poor choices; the adults are. But it can be fixed and quickly with one small decision: put the kids first in everything we do. I know if you see me next year at my son’s games, I will be committed to being better. Whether I have a whistle around my neck or I’m just holding the camera, moving forward I will be a better parent and will be diligent about what I allow my child and others to be exposed to. Until next time, B U!
